Category: book: another night at the end of the world

here, again (plus a challenge to myself)

so, no, i haven’t actually been sick for the last 4 weeks, but i have been slow in getting back here. why? well, it’s the end of the semester, so teaching gets busier, and i’ve been fighting with a particularly insidious little problem in the web work which keeps feeling like three steps forward and two steps back.

i have also not stopped typing (RoE) and writing (new short story, untitled, lots of fun!). i haven’t always done as much as i’ve wanted to, but i’ve done it. there’s more to that, but i don’t have much time right now.

why not? because when i finished writing the first draft of Running on Empty back on the 22nd of March, i told myself i would have it all typed in by the end of the semester, which was almost 8 weeks away, then.

well, today is the final day of classes, so this is it. since i don’t have to teach today, i have a fighting chance of getting the last 39 handwritten pages typed up.

39 pages typed up in 1 day?

yep.

but that’s nearly 14000 words!

yep.

you’re delusional.

well, perhaps, but not so much in this case, because i recently purchased a copy of Dragon Naturally Speaking and, while it’s certainly not perfect:


begin quote get up comma end quote he snapped at Gleason comma still holding tight to the man’s ankle period begin quote get up exclamation point end quote

equals:

“Get up,” he snapped at Gleason, still holding tight to the man’s ankle. “Get up!”


i’ve gotten rather used to it, and it to me, so i can do more than a 1500+ words in an hour when things are going well.  of course, there are also days when i only manage 1500 in a whole day because I need to revise a plot point that no longer makes sense or i have to spend time finding and aligning various puzzle pieces i’ve left for myself in the writing.

this weekend, though, i worked my way through the last major (i hope) and the rest is a wild race to the climax, which should go relatively smoothly.

but not if i don’t get started!

Roe.d1.day47 – slog, slog, slog

getting bogged down in minutiae as Herrick deals with the local police. i know the minutiae needs to go, but the writing’s not coming as smoothly and i’m still a half page or so short of my 3 page daily dose, so i have to rely on pushing through it anyway. it will come around.

maybe plunking away on the piano will help revive the creativity.

in other news, the rejections come in, the queries go out.

glutton for punishment, but running (on empty) again!

what can i say? after all that blabber last night about needing to let go, i came back to it today to just send them, but i just couldn’t leave the bloody thing alone. it’s an illness.

i’m pretty satisfied with the result, though i can’t say it’s actually better than what i started out with. in any event, i’ve gone with it and sent a handful of queries out there, including one where i know i made a mistake, which would have been fine if i’d caught it before hitting ‘send’.

ah, well. it’s my own fault for letting all this get me in such a state.

in other and more enjoyable news, i’m back to Running on Empty! i actually picked it up again on friday. i wasn’t sure how i was going to get back into it, though. having taken this break to finish Another Night (thanks again, Rick!), i was a bit leery about my ability to pick up where i left off.

that fear was partly due to the break, but mostly due to the fact that i had left myself a major hurdle regarding the decision between doorstop and streamlined. i’d written 114 handwritten pages of interesting, involved, very cool stuff, but i hadn’t quite reached halfway, and that stuff was originally envisioned as occuping only the first 20+ pages. what’s more, the section i’d stopped at required a time jump of 2 full years, and a whole lot of things going on (and not going on) in that space.

the trouble was that i could really see this become an epic-sized piece. on the other hand, it could work just as well (better?) as a leaner piece.

so there i sat, above the garage with a cup of tea and a couple layers to keep me warm, trying to decide which way to go.

i very nearly started typing it all in, on the premise that i would be better suited to make that decision once i reviewed the a) brilliance or b) crap that those 114 pages consisted of.

thankfully, it was Uncle Jim to the rescue again, with the time-tested advice: get to the end first. i knew this in the back of my head, but was chickening out from the decision.

so, i started writing. i wasn’t sure what was going to come of it, but almost as soon as i put pencil to paper, the answer made itself clear, and 2 pages later, i’d covered those 2 years more effectively and more interestingly than any amount of detail.

streamlined it is.

i hate query letters

i may have mentioned this once or twice before*, but it remains entirely true.

case in point:

though i’ve had a solid query letter for Another Night… prepped and revised since i put the manuscript aside more than 6 months ago, i spent more than 2 hours this afternoon trying to tweak it to make it . . .

to make it what? perfect?

well, yes, but –

you do know that’s impossible, right?

well…

right?

yes, okay. i know. there’s no such thing as perfection. but if i’m left to my own devices, i will run in circles until i can’t see straight trying to find the perfect turn of phrase or arrangement of words** before i ever accept the reality that there’s such a thing as good enough.

thankfully (for the sake of both our sanity), my wife is able to return me to reality, and with more restraint and good nature than i would likely have in her place.

so tomorrow the letters go out.

* or three or four or five times…

** because that’s what it comes down to with this nonsense after a certain point!

Another Night at the End of the World is off to the printer! (well, FedEx, anyway)

and i really think it’s done.

yes, there are always things i’m on the fence about, but i’ve steeled myself to be brutal with this one, and i’m sticking with it. there are a few babies carefully huddled in a safe place for later return, but by and large, i think it’s right. there are places i wish it wasn’t, but i’m coming to terms with it.

obviously not as well as i thought, though, eh?

anyway, it’s out, it’s going to hard copy again, and barring any glaring disasters my wife may find in it, this is the version going to agents and editors.

i think it’s time to shovel some snow.

rule #10: kill your babies

literary babies, of course.*

i’ve just finished the revision of Another Night at the End of the World**, and this concept of linguistic murder is foremost in my mind, mainly because of its prominent implementation during this revision.

i think i’ve mentioned before that Another Night… is my most self-created book concept; it did not start as a reaction to other stories i’ve read or seen or heard, but was an entirely ground-up creation beginning in my first and only NaNoWriMo bid a few years ago. that attempt was incomplete, falling far short of the word count goal, but i discovered a pair of characters that have enchanted me and a world that has given me truly endless opportunities.

while all this is more fantastic (both definitively and connotatively) than i can adequately express — though i’m certain to try in the coming months and years*** — it has also raised a genuine concern: i like it too much.

how is that a bad thing?

well, like real irish scones and clotted cream, or pears and brie, or a salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, carrots and peas fresh from the garden, too much of anything is a bad thing.

so, too, with my writing. as it is, i tend to write far more than is necessary****, but the depth and breadth of this world i have discovered, and those of the people and places within it, are such that i am inclined to wander down every tunnel, across every ocean, and through every backstory.

am i overstating the richness and variety of this creation/discovery? perhaps.

i am not overstating my verbosity, however*****. since i find all these things fascinating, i want to write about them all. i want to share Manadan’s pursuit of the origins of the phrase “to hang noodles on one’s ears” to a long-dead food critic seeking to refute a new tax on food production; or the darkness beneath Gupti’s unflagging optimism; or how the 800-year evolutionary isolation of the gaffa on Fareh-neb played a part in Manadan’s blindness; or why anyone would bother cross-breeding a pig, a frog and a horse (seriously!).

hopefully, some of these are as interesting to you as they are to me, but the question ultimately rests upon what value each of these adds to the story. some may seem more obvious than others, such as Gupti’s background, but this first story is foremost about Manadan and i didn’t find a credible way of incorporating that information without some heavily contrived conversations that Gupti would never fall for. as such, these several pages of background had to be dropped.

others, like the origins of the noodles phrase, are clearly irrelevant and while i found them entertaining to write and still enjoy them, i had to cut them for that very reason; i was being self-indulgent, forgetting the focus and flow of the story.

still others may seem entirely irrelevant, such as the cross-breeding example, but this one actually remains in the text, not only because it’s distinctly unusual, but because it flowed naturally from the narrative and from the characters, and serves to anchor the world of the story, interestingly. at least, i hope so.

this last is not the norm, though. in most cases, i had to kill my babies. i’ve cut about 35 pages of content this way (including the first 20+ pages, which i still adore), but that doesn’t matter. the story matters; not my preconceived notions of what the story should be, but what the story becomes in the process of writing, a merging of intention and accident, creation and discovery, deliberation and mistake.

this seems a little extreme, as i read it over, but it doesn’t feel that way to me. by no means am i saying it’s the correct and proper way to do things, but for me, for right now, i can say that it has produced a much better, stronger, more interesting read.

besides, as i said earlier, Manadan & Gupti have only just begun…

* what kind of show do you think this is, anyway?

** to the deliciously dulcet flugelhorn tones of Jeff Oster’s True album – thank you, Carol!

*** yes, years. i have no doubts that Manadan and Gupti will be with me for a very long time.

**** case in point: this blog

***** is that even possible?

enough moaning; move on, already

no more wasting time bemoaning what i didn’t do; it’s time to get back to the actual doing.

to that end, i have passed the halfway mark of final revisions for Another Night… and i am getting steadily more excited about it. i was in a funk, but i have decided to stop giving in, and it’s coming along. it’s a snow-day here today, but the joy of telecommuting is that i can still work my other job.* however, when that is finished, i hope to get some more done on the revisions and see maybe another 20 pages done by the end of the day. perhaps a bit high-reaching, but we’ll see.

oh, and a bit of snow-shoeing while the flakes still fall. i keep not doing it, and i don’t want to miss another chance.

* which is good, because i like to be able to pay the bills and eat food.

RoE.d1.day33-40 – behind again leads to changing gears

i’m putting Running on Empty on hold.

i’m behind by about 5 pages, but that’s not the reason. well, it is, in a way. i was able to spend some time talking with a friend about our mutual writing experiences lately and in that discussion i found myself describing what it was like to write toward specific scenes that i’d been holding in my head, when i was writing Witness. just talking about the experience raised gossebumps on my arms, reminding me how much fun that was, how thrilling the process…

…and how i don’t have that with this story.

i still love the story, and it has really blossomed into something that could be not only very exciting and cool, but quite profound, as well. at 115 pages, though, it’s already longer than Another Night…, and I’m only just about halfway through, as i now see it. i’ve been hemming and hawing almost from the beginning about whether i can keep this to the tight and snappy vision i initially had or if it will be a doorstop of a book. given the current length and my enjoyment of the majority of the content, i was leaning toward doorstop.

then i had that experience of describing the writing process for Witness, and i realized something was missing. i think i’ve gotten lost. this has been hard to swallow, because it means that probably 50% or more of what i’ve written so far will be dropped. this sucks. i hate killing my babies. but that recognition, and my resistance to it, only confirmed its necessity.

more than anything else, though, i feel this is a recognition of my own ability right now. i don’t feel capable of writing the profound work that i imagine this story might become.

then again, perhaps i’m wimping out, evading the test of whether or not i can do it. am i simply taking the easy way out by not following through with it?

…and so on and so forth, in an endless loop in my brain.

so, since i can’t seem to make a decision about RoE, i’ve decided to listen to this friend’s advice and return to Another Night…, which has been sitting silently for 6 months, almost completely untouched, and, most importantly, not submitted anywhere.

Seriously? Not submitted anywhere? 6 months and you haven’t touched it?

seriously.

What’s the problem?

i don’t have a good answer to that. well, perhaps i do. i think Another Night… is my best book so far, something distinct, with a powerful cast of true-to-life characters dealing with very realistic problems in a pretty darn cool environment. it’s also gotten across-the-board great responses from my beta readers.

Again, what’s the problem?

well, it took a while for me to get here, but thanks to this weekend’s conversation, i did discover the answer: I’m afraid I’m wrong. I know, I know, it’s a terrible excuse.

You’re bloody well right it is!

i said i knew that. Anyway, it’s true, and it’s wrong, and i’m dealing with it. while RoE sits on the back burner for a little while, i’m returning to Another Night… for one final ‘objective’ pass, and then it’s going out. no more dodging.

it’s good to be back

obviously, i’ve been away from the blog for a while. 4 weeks since my last post, and 6 or more since i wrote anything of substance, either here or on paper. life happens, and that’s fine.

in fact, there was a lot of great stuff in these 6 weeks, family visits from Arizona, a beuatiful wedding, days spent with friends, theater shows, bike trips through Portland and South Portland, garden work (keeping it alive during these weeks of zero rain), my first trip to Prince Edward Island (with my grandmother who was born and raised there and who showed us all around and introduced us to the extended family still in the area), watching the Perseids from the roof, and just spending time with my incredible wife. so, really, no complaints there at all.

what i didn’t do, though, was write anything, and that’s been slowly eating away at me.

no more. yesterday i finished a major overhaul of an older story, Games People Play, which has only gotten better, and today i make a couple final tweaks on Another Night . . . and get it out to readers, maybe even to agents.

it really is great to be back.

Another Night… draft 4 – done, and so am i

i finished typing up this last draft yesterday afternoon, and all i wanted to do was get away from it.

i pushed a bit hard to get it done, and i think it suffered as a result, but i can’t bear to go back to it right now. i need to get away from it for a while. for some reason, this feeling is more intense than i recall in the past. i’m not sure if that means the work is less good or if it is simply the speed and pressure i put myself under.* i can’t say right now, though i willingly admit to fearing the answer.

hm. is there such a thing as writer’s remorse? like buyer’s remorse, only i wish i hadn’t written it, instead of bought it?

it’s a good thing the day job is still here.

more importantly, it’s a good thing my wife still is, too.

* which, by the way, was the direct result of some pathetic procrastination, and thereby entirely unnecessary.